I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
