Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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