I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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