Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
