After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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