Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
