Barsexuality is the new black.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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