I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
