her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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