he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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