Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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