Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
