Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
