just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
