Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
