Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
