Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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