I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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