I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I cannot find my penis.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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