Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
how can u be prego again
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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