They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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