I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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