Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
