dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
