Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
