Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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