Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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