Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
