Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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