I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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