we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
