she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
