i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
