I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
