This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
