I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
