There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We don't watch enough power rangers
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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