So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
