hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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