Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
