Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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