Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i would punch a child for taco bell
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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