is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
