He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
