i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
