Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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