There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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