I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
