I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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