Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
