physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
