hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
