We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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