In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this will be a night to untag.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
