At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
